“Uhg, jeez, why does this thing feel so heavy?”  The rather rotund crocodile struggled to keep the crate level as she took it off the ship, nearly dropping it again.  The both tall and wide croc’s scales had a rather common muddy green color to them, and a brown outfit complemented her skin.  She was strong, but not like she wanted to do this kind heavy lifting.  Luckily, most of those boxes where already off the ship, just a couple more, of course the lazy leave the hardest to move for last.

A scrawny, and rather clumsy crane followed her down the ramp, nearly tripping at the bottom.
“Well w-well what do you expect? That’s what you get if you find it n-necessary to grab all the valuable looking shiny things in the whole place.  Gold thingies silver thingies, but I do love that teapot you found, can I have it?  I think it looks great, you know all the d-detail and the engraving on it and it even still has some tea leaves in it from whenever the last time someone was getting ready to use it-“

“Fine fine fine! Kijuuki, you can keep that teapot… just be silent long enough to finish unloading the loot.”  The bumbling crane…half crane half computer half chatter box and half…feathers?  At least it seems like that’s what’s in his head sometimes.  He was smart, but he wasn’t always on task, or focused.

The croc dumped the last of the cumbersome boxes onto the hanger floor with the rest of the loot.  Kijuuki fumbled with a duffle bag full of smaller knickknacks from that oriental pawn shop… restaurant kinda place.  Actually a surprisingly good little raid, finally getting able to restock the food supplies on their little asteroid base.  Not only that, but a ship load full of little treasures and gold…things.  You know, things with resale value.  Gold, rare treasures? What could seriously sell better?

The crane ran past the crocodile to one of the first offloaded boxes.  Throwing the lid off, Kijuuki slowed down suddenly, and carefully lifted out a small square box.  It was tightly packed with tissue paper, gently shielding the beautifully engraved cream and blue colored teapot.  The birdie held it gently in his hands, marveling at its design and beauty.  He traced one of the lines with a feather from his good wing.

“Hey Alma… Would you like some tea?  C-cause I’m gonna try this one out.  I bet this is the best teapot in five parsecs…”

“You kidding? I hate tea.  Bah, get outa here… I know you are dying to use that thing.  I’ll handle the crates for now.”
“Ahahaha! Thank you Alma!”  With that, the clearly eccentric crane pranced back farther into the inner workings of their asteroid base.  Alma got back to work, crane being long gone, she loaded the crates of food and valuables onto a small hover sled.  All this stuff doesn’t do much good sitting around on the hanger floor, right?  Got to get it to the kitchen area and store the food.  The far larger of the duo went out into the rock to do just that.  Her massive tail, thick with toneless fat, complemented her far larger body.  Fat space pirate? Odd sight really, but not like Alma is the one to be subtle about anything, ever.  While the tiny and pathetically weak Kijuuki is obsessed with computers and some odd knickknacks, Alma collects and maintains hundreds of high tech weapons.  Several weapons lockers dot the base, as the one she just passed.  Plasma cannons, messy, but particularly cool…well hot… anyways.

This was hardly the best place to live, but comfortable enough, and hard for the lawmen and bounty hunters to find.  And why ask for more than that?  Not too hot not too cold, the crocodile whistled a bit as she wandered into the storage area, hips swaying to and fro as a lizard of her size would sway.  Kijuuki’s distant muffled singing no doubt caused her little bit of rhythm.  One box down.  She wondered if the crane would like that teapot she found for him.  Another down.  His voice faded and only the background white nose permeated the walls.  She fumbled the next one, the box fell to the ground and broke open, releasing the contents onto the storage room floor.  A high pitched yelp echoed down the halls of their base.  Instantly she drew her sidearm, a large laser pistol, and sprinted down the hall as quickly as her body would allow her to travel.  ‘Oh damn…. I really hope that he only burnt himself this time…’  Thump thump thump.  Scaly feet bit the deck with a deep hollow sound as she rushed into the kitchen, actually colliding with the crane as he scampered out.

“A-a-a-lma!  They’re there the the….the the… uh raccoons squirrels I uh uh in there look look somehow I-I don’t …. Alma! How did they I…I.. .”  And without a word she shoved him out of her way, entering the kitchen with her gun drawn.  The teapot sat on the table, the tea inside just finished brewing.  Across the table stood a strange pair of creatures.  Brown colored, they did look almost like raccoons.  Certainly rather portly…they were nearly half as wide as they were tall.  One had a face a tad rounder and softer, while the second looked far more conniving and stern.  The raccoon look a likes were dressed in simple straw hats and kimonos, one red and one teal, each with gold etching on the design.  Neither flinched a bit when the croc entered with her laser pointed squarely at their heads.

“How the hell did you two get in here?”

“Tsk tsk… Not a very warm welcome, wouldn’t you say, Chiro?”

“Stone cold, Moi.  Miss Ruiz I assume.”  She said nothing.

“Well… we had a worthless conversation with that cowardly excuse of a bird in the hall, we hardly got a word in edgewise…”

“Explain yourselves now!” The crocodile was becoming furious now.  Intruders, in her home of all places, mocking her best friend…

“Oh very well…” Moi produced a small holo-rod, and clicking a switch, a poster like picture appeared from it.  Pictures of Alma and Kijuuki decorated it.  The raccoon like creature cleared his throat and read from the poster.

“Wanted: Alma Anzar Ruiz. Condition: Alive.  Guilty of piracy, armed robbery, kidnapping, extortion, racketeering, starship theft, the sale of stolen goods, gun trafficking, reckless flying…etcetera etcetera ….Wanted: Kijuuki Jougen. Condition: Alive.  Guilty of breaking and entering, counterfeiting, forgery, armed robbery, kidnapping, database violation, database destruction, hacking, fraud, blah blah blah…” His voice died out, dry and seemingly un-amused with the long list of law violations.

“Hey is there any point to this junk, or are you trying to piss me off?”

“Temper temper, Miss Ruiz.  I come here to tell you that you, under your own free will and judgment, have recently robbed Madame Fei Ling’s humble business, our employer…And I wish to inform you that if you do not come with us at this time, we will be forced to come and take you against your will later…”  The crocodile almost burst out laughing at this little show.

“Are you seriously trying to pass yourself off as bounty hunters? Hehaha….”

“I admit that what you speak of is not our profession at all… We are merely here to give you a karmic reply to your actions.  You robbed Madame Fei Ling, and we simply intend to… oh how is it said.. make what goes around come around?”

“What?”

“Well… you are each worth four million credits, Miss Ruiz.  We will leave now if you wish, however we will return in a few hours, and then we will come and take you with us, no matter how you resist.”

“Pfft…. Like I would be intimidated by the likes of you… get lost.”

“Very well Miss Ruiz.  We shall leave, but bear in mind that you will get what you truly have earned with that theft.  Miss, I you get what you want out of your last few meals on this station….and your crane… he talks too much, a real windbag.”  And before she could offer any kind of rebuttal, they each snapped their fingers and vanished into thin air.

“What the…damnit!  Kijuuki! Kijuuki!” Frantically she yelled back into the hall.

“Oh Alma….Alma I…How did they get in here…No-noone’s ever gotten in here! I…I…How how?!”  Poor Kijuuki was almost on the brink of tears now.  The asteroid base’s stealth system was his brainchild, the fact that two apparent bounty hunters got inside nearly destroyed every last shred of confidence in his tiny body.

Kijuuki spent the next hour or so reviewing the security tapes.  No entries to the hanger and no airlock violations.  He couldn’t figure it out really.  His best guesses were they were stowaways, unlikely, all the crates were searched before they were filled up with loot.  The next best idea was a teleport, but it would have to have so much power that whatever it was on should be easy to detect.  Still nothing at all.  Sighing, Kijuuki sleepily stood up and wandered out of the Ops Room, door whooshing closed behind him.  It seemed to have gotten rather cold on the upper levels recently, he thought, may as well get some tea and actually enjoy it this time.  The kitchen gave him the spooks when entered.  The bird still feared they were still in there.  A small tidbit of research and a security photo told him that the two were actually tanuki, and not raccoons.  

The bird got the teapot off the stove, it had grown stone cold since the incident.  He took the pot over to the sink, and replaced the water that had boiled off.  He lit a small burner and put the pot on it, finally getting started on making that relaxing drink he wanted.  Kijuuki sat back and tried to relax while the water started to boil.  He actually dozed off for a moment, something almost entirely unheard of for the crane, normally the overactive talkative one.  He snapped back to his senses when the whistle of the water boiling met his ears.  He quickly added the tea leaves to the hot teapot, and a wonderful, gentle scent mixed in with the steam that loomed above the stove.  He slowly poured the mixture into a small porcelain cup.  The bird inhaled deeply, enjoying the scent, it seemed to just flow right into his nose.  It tasted heavenly…

Alma was hardly concerned with the intrusion.  She knew that they wouldn’t go anywhere without a fight.  She had some of her best weapons laying on the table in the common room, as well as some dinner.  Not all that was in the crates was oriental food though.  Sure there was a lot of sweet and sour soup mixes, frozen fish, herbs.  There were also a couple boxes of…donuts, pastries, some pasta, even a small selection of cheeses.  She promptly unwrapped one of the boxes of donuts.  

“Oh ho ho… chocolate covered ones…”  A personal favorite.  She wiggled her fingers over the box, trying to decide which one to start off with.  She poked one with the claw on her index finger and brought the sugary little pastry to her mouth.  One of the best she had had in a very long time.  Two or three more bites and the pastry had been reduced to a formless mass which fell down into her gut.  She grinned with bliss and grabbed another out of the box.  She felt the chocolate endued euphoria again, and her stomach growled, wanting more of these donuts.  Alma hadn’t eaten for a while, but she was really feeling a hunger inside her belly now.  Unthinking she grabbed another out of the box.  Her almost trancelike state warped time in her mind, and for her it seemed like the entire box had been emptied in a brief moment.  The crocodile blinked, looking over herself in a bit of confusion.  She had chocolate on her fingertips, and she licked her lips, which were also adorned with the sweet paste like food.  Her stomach felt a bit full, bloated, but the desire for the donuts had not subsided one bit. Infact it seemed to be getting stronger, harder to look away from the pastries.  Unconsciously she reached out and grabbed another box.

Kijuuki was back in Ops after finishing off a couple cups of tea, though he was beginning to regret it.  His innards ached and gurgled, and he was feeling uncomfortably hot in the Ops Room.  His typing was again interrupted by a sharp feeling of fullness suddenly hitting his stomach.  The crane rolled his chair back from the controls and slouched down as he ran one of his wings up and down his belly.  Kijuuki thought that he must have gotten food poisoning from something he ate; his digestion was beginning to feel that messed up.  And jeez… it felt hotter than hell in there for him.  He tried to loosen his turtle neck collar a bit, tying to relieve the heat.  Meanwhile, his bloated feeling got even worse.  He undid his belt, lifting up his shirt he rubbed his stomach, and was a tad surprised.  His stomach was hot to the touch, and on a side note he saw that he may have been starting to lose his girlish figure.  He looked up at one of the computer monitors to check the environmental systems.

“Wait..what, hunh? It’s sixty two degrees in here?! That’s freezing…no it’s not, it feels like it’s over one hundred! This makes no sense!  Oh man oh man….I must be getting pretty sick… I hope I don’t have some kind of disease…like malaria or cholera!  Oh crap…”  He gripped his now small pot belly with both of his wings as he felt his guts move and gurgle and burble again.  One of the pressure points fell into his lower intestines and started moving along.  Kijuuki was not surprised on bit when an audible burst of gas left the far side of his digestive tract.  Blushing, he got up out of the chair, finally deciding he should go and get Alma for help.  That last bit had him worried, as the passed gas was hot, like what was beginning to seem like the rest of him.  He struggled to reattach his belt, but his bloated gut simply made it impossible to get the ends close enough together to keep the belt on.  He simply let his belt hang there, he had to get help, that’s what the crane thought at least as he stumbled out of the Ops Room.  It only seemed to get hotter and hotter, and the feeling in Kijuuki’s stomach increased in pressure.  Then the crane was sure he was about to lose his lunch, he doubled over and gagged.  Instead of bile and partially digested food, all that escaped his beak was a loud belch of white gas.  It was hot, and smelt of green tea.  He began to laugh nervously at this latest anomaly.

“Heh…hahahaha… steam! It’s steam! My gut is full of steam… Wow that’s weird, I wonder if buuraarp!  Woah… heh. Urp!”  Several other bursts of gas escaped his mouth when he tried to talk.  For once he shut up and focused on just one thing, finding Alma.  At this point it was beginning to feel really weird to walk.  Steam was beginning to move into other parts of his body, most notably his once twig thin legs had nearly tripled in width, even more at his thighs.  His wings felt different, but really didn’t look much bigger, but his neck was not the case.  As he progressed farther into the base looking for his partner, it was getting harder to look around, a now fully formed double chin was the least of his worries now.  His body grew larger, rounder, and more uncomfortable with each passing moment.  It really felt like he was now in a sauna, or the sauna was in him.  Defiantly the later, the crane had gone from a pencil thin bird, to having a potbelly, to turkey look alike.  His only shred of hope for getting out of this mess was finding Alma in time…

Three crates, once full of donut boxes sat empty on the common room floor.  Seemingly countless donut boxes, once full of donuts lay beside them.  And the donuts from those boxes clung snugly to each other inside the crocodile, slowly making their move…using Alma’s own digestive system to force their way into her body as layers of near impossible to remove blubber padding.  Her face and forearms were clad in chocolate, and she moaned, struggling to reach one last donut perilously perched on the apex of her significantly larger stomach.  Her arms, full of the fat the donuts forced upon her, at their least to be as thick as her legs once were.  Their chocolate coated stubby fingers still reaching for the pastry had trouble moving.  Every square inch of Alma Anzar Ruiz was full of blubber, even those tiny digits.  Her stomach easily, and effortlessly jutted out another two feet in diameter, another change encouraged by the donuts.  Her tail followed suit, taking up a significant amount of the mass.  Even as her scales struggled to keep all that flesh under them and her clothing moaned, fat bulging out at every opportunity, her puffy, greedy face smiled as that last donut fell into her hands, which in turn departed to her mouth.  They were simply addicting, well, from her current form that shows.  The bliss and euphoria from the donuts numbed her mind, while the sugar and fat from them numbed her body.  Her stomach was absolutely packed to capacity, but even as she licked the chocolate off her hands, the pastries forced their way out of her stomach and into her body, accompanying the already digested bits that clung onto the inside of her skin, forming the thick blubber padding that lined Alma’s body.

She rocked back and forth for a moment, trying to get her bearings, but failing briefly due to her body.  She managed to sit back upright, but was totally dumbstruck by what she saw when she finally realized what happened.  Her jaw dropped.  She inspected the damage, her arms, completely bloated with stubby little fingers, ran down her face as she felt the toneless flab that settled on her.  The crocodile nearly screamed in horror, until she screamed in joy.  In the doorway she saw one donut, sitting on the floor.  Her rational thoughts were snuffed out by one thought forced into her mind, eat the donut.  She stumbled, floundered, and clumsily climbed towards the remaining treat.  Her mass forced her down on all fours, but ground clearance was…sketchy at best.  Her body had the strangest looking motion to it, swaying from side to side from her head, all the way to the tip of her tail.  But all that rushed to a stop when she reached the donut, her tongue shot out and grabbed it up off the floor, which she promptly plopped down onto.  Its evil chocolate curse took hold again, lulling her into a trance, but she was too far gone once she saw the donut.  A scent hit her nose, there was another nearby.  Just down the hall… there was another, then another.  A trail of donuts that she was forced to follow and devour.  Her rational mind was forced into the back seat, only able to watch on as a happy, hypnotized façade destroyed her body.

It was hard at this point to pin a species to Kijuuki’s body.  The fellow, once obviously a crane, had become a proper ball…with limbs and a head of course.  Once twig thin, his legs expanded out into cone shaped extremities with almost no freedom of movement.  What appeared to be his clothing somehow clung onto the gasbag birdie.  He waddled as best he could towards the hanger.  His hope of actually getting there shrank with the apparent size of the corridors, his ballooned body now had some trouble getting by without scraping both walls.  Not like he could call for help anymore, every time he opened his mouth, all his words were drowned out by burbling belches of white hot steam…which now poured out of his nostrils in a steady stream of vapor.  Not unlike that teapot he had gotten his hands…wings on earlier.

The hanger door was only a few meters away now.  Unfortunately for the bird, his legs couldn’t take any more pressure.  The once tiny little toes, now too swollen to bend anymore, would not support his unstable body… with the exact same being said about his legs, he slowed and slowed until he reached a near crawl.  One last step then…wham!  The floor was suddenly flying towards Kijuuki’s face.  He didn’t have time to squawk before his face hit the grate (not like he could have even squawked in his condition).  Dazed, he was only able to register what was happening when it was too late.  The poor crane now rolled and bounced down the corridor, and he quickly picked up speed like a proper ball.  He entered the hanger at what could be described as a brisk “get the hell out of the way” speed, immediately ricocheting off the far wall, then the ship, before a mild dribbling and a slow roll to a halt in front of a quietly moaning green, scaly mass.  His heart sank and willed with pity when he realized what it was.

The poor poor crocodile’s mind had been smothered long enough for the donuts’ hypnotic calls to do their thing.  She had eaten herself into the hanger, and much like her companion, grew in size so that any hope of movement was laughable.  She was full to bursting, literally every single square inch of her body had been stuffed to exploding with donuts… her tail was probably the size of her old body, and her legs easily bigger than her tail once was.  Her fatty fat cheeks were smeared with chocolate, and played host to a defeated expression of sorrow.  Alma knows that she has lost.  Any attempt to get her strength up to get to her feet, or even sit up, was laughed at by the blubber which muffled out any attempted rebellion against the weight.

She was distracted from her miserable predicament by the entrance of the beach ball bird.  Her orange eyes followed his short runabout the hanger until her stopped besides her.  His eyes became watery with an overall sense of despair… for both her and himself.  The best friends were unable to even help each other, in their own home.  Now they lay there, bodies rendered useless, the two legendary Heartbreak Pirates were utterly humiliated, defeated and helpless.  Of course… the two interlopers just happen to show up now…

“Oh my oh my… Rather a rough spot these two have gotten themselves into, eh Chiro?”

“Rather disappointing…I thought that at least one of them would have figured it out sooner…but alas, too late to save each other.” Each of the tanuki, appearing out of nowhere, now approached the two pirates.  Alma struggled to look over her own terrain to see where the voices came from, but one promptly positioned himself on top of the crocodile.  She so wanted to snap him in two right now… but she was far too weak, not even able to get her arms up high enough to reach him.

“Oh Miss Ruiz.  Don’t even bother, I’ve taken extra special care with baking those donuts…Not only have I made them rather irresistible, but they have a nasty tendency to take any energy you want to use, and put it right where it belongs…digesting things.”

“You…damn stupid racco-” Before she could even finish her sentence, the tanuki reached out and firmly pressed his index finger onto the tip of her snout.  She tried to speak…but the more effort she made, the harder it became to think straight…

“Temper temper Miss Ruiz….Now… tell me all about yourself…”  Her eyes went wide.  She could not get the words out… her sentences were just rushing out of her head.  Her mind slowed and her thoughts dried up… she just wanted to listen to the creature sitting atop her right now…Sleepy eyed, she spoke up again.

“Gladly kind sir… I am Alma Anzar Ruiz, the big, fat, stupid partner of the Heartbreak Pirates.  I focus on guns and brawn, but I’m rather unintelligent, that’s why I organize the raids.  We were total idiots earlier, robbing the nice Madame Fei Ling’s shop.  If my fat stupid body can help her shop in anyway, I will gladly offer myself into her services…” And with that, her head fell back down to the floor with a blissful smile across her face as she fell asleep.  Kijuuki watched in silent terror as her friend’s mind was twisted around their crazy little finger tips… but his fear grew when the tanuki turned to face him.  He wanted to run, or fly away, but the best he could do was rock gently back and forth, wings and ballooned legs useless…

“Mister Crane…please relax...” Obviously the crane didn’t come close to that as his panicking motions and noises grew and grew.  Still the tanuki slowly approached him, and one firmly planted his index finger onto the tip of his beak.  His eyes went wide as a sea of serenity rushed into his mind, forcing his own thoughts out…everything became cloudy in his head as he slowed down…

“Now Mister Crane…I will allow you to talk now…. what do you have to say about this…?”

“I am Kijuuki Jougen kind sir…” He droned on sleepily.  “Though smart, I am undeniably weak minded and so easily distracted.  I absolutely love the sound of my own voice, so much so I would not dare let you speak when we first met.  I am such a useless windbag sir…I want to apologize for stealing from Madame Fei Ling’s wonderful little shop earlier.  If my worthless existence can help Madame Fei Ling in anyway, I will gladly offer myself into her services…” With that he went limp, drooling all over himself in that trance like state.  Chiro spoke up.

“Aw, isn’t that nice of them to do brother?”

“Indeed…Maybe we can find some use for them… we could use some decorations…furniture...or just something to paint a sign on.”

“Oh, do not forget the reward for them…”

“Hm… you are correct… Let us load them onto the ship, we can chose whether to turn them in or keep them later.”

“Yes brother…Oh, I call the bird!”

“Lovely…I do hope they have a hover sled…This crocodile will be rather bothersome to relocate…”